Author Archives: ppcweb

PPC’s staff & therapists had a wonderful time recently, getting messy with Erin at 4Cats Art Studio.  It was a great opportunity to bring out our silly selves and visit together!  We created a group effort piece, as well as individual pieces — all unique and beautiful, just like us.  🙂  Such fun!

John and Julie Gottman are perhaps the most highly recognized therapists in relationship therapy. What distinguishes them from others is how their recommendations are based on research not opinion or theory. (Note to self: if looking for a relationship therapist, try to get a Gottman trained therapist. PPC has several).

One of their findings is that relationship failure can be predicted with a whopping 90% accuracy based on the presence of the 4 horseman.

 – Criticism (of the character not the behaviour)
– Contempt (expression of superiority coming from sarcasm, name calling, eye rolling, mocking and hostile behaviour)
– Defensiveness (righteousness and playing the victim)
– Stone Walling (withdrawing)

Now to be clear, we all may do this. The trick though is to recognize it, do not attribute it to one’s partner REGARDLESS, and immediately make amends for it.
Hint: if you are brave enough (Transparent) ask your partner for their read on you, 1-10, on the 4 horsemen.

The Marriage Clinic, John Gottman. 1999

Sponsored by PPC-Professional Psychologists & Counsellors – 664-0000, www.peopleproblems.ca

Generally speaking, yes they are. Most of this is subconscious. We don’t see it in ourselves but the researchers see it in us. This contagiousness is especially strong when we are in frequent contact with others. In one three-year study of 150 couples, wives were not significantly affected. But the husbands’ general marital satisfaction decreased when their wives were stressed. This was further amplified under conflict, where men became more rejecting and critical.

At work: Heads up for whom you work with.
At home: Wives, you have more influence than you may have thought.
With friends: Maybe you should tell them of your mood so they can prepare.

Scientific American Mind, Page 72. July 2012

University Bridge closure for summer 2015…. MORE INFO

“Success has a much greater influence on the brain than failure,” says Massachusetts Institute of Technology neuroscientist Earl Miller, who led the research. He believes the findings apply to many aspects of daily life in which failures are left unpunished but achievements are rewarded in one way or another – such as when your teammates cheer your strikes at the bowling lane. The pleasurable feeling that comes with the successes is brought about by a surge in the neurotransmitter dopamine. By telling brain cells when they have struck gold, the chemical apparently signals them to keep doing whatever they did that led to success.

As for failures, Miller says, we might do well to pay more attention to them, consciously encouraging our brain to learn a little more from failure than it would by default.”

Your EFAP is here to help you to successfully achieve your goals: marital, family, personal, career. We understand how success generates success.

Frederik Joelving – Psychotherapy Networks, March 2012

Sponsored by PPC-Professional Psychologists & Counsellors – 664-0000, www.peopleproblems.ca